A sad side effect of the Covid-19 pandemic is that the number of couples divorcing has steadily increased over the past 18 months. In the UK alone, one law firm recently reported that it has seen divorce instructions increase by around 30% since the pandemic began, and the UK’s Citizens Advice charity, which provides advice and guidance on a range of personal issues, has also seen a dramatic rise in visits to the divorce section of its website.
It has, undoubtedly, been a stressful period for everyone. Family life and routines have been thrown into chaos. Home working, lockdowns and restrictions have meant that couples have spent more time in each other’s company than they were previously used to. There has been increased financial pressure and uncertainty, and the simple fact is that living through such a horrific period has put even the most solid of relationships under additional pressure at times.
For some, the pandemic will have proved to be the catalyst for a break-up that was already a possibility. For others, the decision to divorce will be because the pandemic has made them reassess what is important to them.
Whatever the reason, if you decide to get divorced it can be a hugely difficult period in your life, not because of the process of divorce – that can be fairly straight forward – but because of the emotional upset and financial stress that such an event can bring. That is why we have put together the following tips to help you with your personal finances if you are one of the millions of people who go through divorce each year.
Do your research
With divorce proceedings and outcomes differing greatly depending on where you live, it is essential you understand what your divorce is likely to entail. There is a huge amount of information available on-line which can help you understand the process, time scale and cost of divorce, and to help you understand how your finances are likely to be impacted. Remember though, everyone’s personal and financial situation is different, and no two divorces are the same. However, by knowing what to expect you will be better prepared to navigate this difficult period in your life.
Understand your finances
Having a good understanding of your financial situation at the outset of divorce proceedings is incredibly important. As well as allowing you to get an idea of the sort of ‘new life’ you will be able to afford when your divorce is complete, having a clear picture of your, and your spouse’s financial situation will be important when it comes to negotiating how assets and liabilities may be split as part of the divorce process. The way finances are treated in divorce varies from country to country, and sometimes from region to region, so be sure to look at your finances in the context of where your divorce will take place.
Consider mediation
Many people assume that divorce means a huge amount of money must be spent on lawyers, but this need not be the case. If you and your partner can agree to enter mediation, where an impartial professional mediator helps you agree on how your divorce will work, the use of lawyers can be minimised. Areas that are frequently addressed through mediation include how property will be dealt with, finances during and after divorce, and ongoing childcare arrangements. Usually, you cannot force someone to enter mediation but if you highlight that money spent on expensive lawyers damages both of your financial futures, it can become a much more appealing prospect.
Focus on the important things
Whilst the emotional pain of divorce may make you feel like you want to get everything you can out of your former partner, focus on what is actually important to you. So often during divorce people spend a disproportionate amount of time, energy and money arguing and fighting over things that are not really important in the grand scheme of things. Be willing to negotiate, and sometimes concede, and always remember that the more your divorce costs you, the less money you will have for your new life. Having a legal battle over who gets to keep the TV may seem important at the time but is likely to cost you far more than the price of a new TV in the long run.
Put Your Children First
Regardless of what has happened in your relationship, you will always both be your children’s parents and so will remain connected. By ensuring you make decisions during your divorce that are in your children’s best interests, you have the opportunity to lay a solid foundation for life as joint parents going forward and avoid making divorce any more painful for your children than it needs to be.
Ensure you have good support and advice, and look after yourself
Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events and, for many, creates emotions akin to those we experience with grief. Ensure you have someone to talk to about your situation and your feelings, rather than trying to deal with things alone. If you do not feel that your friends or family are the right people, then consider a professional such as a counsellor, life coach or therapist. There are also charities and groups that help those going through divorce. With divorce likely to have a long-term influence on your future, ensure you get professional advice on anything that is not clear, especially when it comes to finances. This need not cost you vast amounts of money, and some charities can help, but it could make a difference in the future. Finally, remember that no matter how difficult your divorce might get, it will pass, and the future is full of opportunities.
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